It's not really in the spirit of the winter bash, but inspecting browser elements reveals:
I'd really like to steal someone's checkmark so I can legitimately get a pirate hat, even if it is to big for my tiny avatar head.
My parents always wanted me to be a judge and I always wanted to be a technology geek. This is probably as close as I'll be to becoming a judge.
Thank you Stack Exchange for fulfilling my parents dreams :)